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How to –probably—lose an election

I suppose it had to happen sooner or later—and now it has.

The (British) Labour party has developed a habit of ‘kebabing’ itself when it comes to elections. I well remember the 1992 election, when the Tories were going to be trounced after how many years of Thatcher? John Major was going to be sent into the wilderness and Neil Kinnock was going to be the next Prime Minister (according to most pundits). I knew that Labour had lost the election when I saw the last rally they threw before the election. Kinnock came onto the stage, waving and grinning as if the result had already been announced. He clasped his hands in triumph above his head and I thought ‘we Brits don’t do this sort of thing. He’s just blown it’. I was right, he had. Oh, perhaps I should explain the phrase ‘kebab’. The same Kinnock was overheard making derogatory remarks about The Working Class—you know, Labour’s traditional supporters. When this was put to him, he accused the reporter of trying to ‘bloody kebab me’. He never did become Prime Minister.


The current Labour Leader—well, perhaps leader is stretching things a bit–Ed Miliband has just announced the latest attack on the toffs—who says the class war is dead–except it turns out to be a bit of an attack on anybody who is contributing to a pension scheme, once you read the small print.

Ed’s neat idea is that he will limit tax relief on some pension contributions and give it to the students—to be precise he will use the money saved to reduce tuition fees. The pension industry has worked out that Miliband—should we be dense enough to elect him—will cost pension savers £2.7 BILLION. Now, either there are a lot of filthy rich pension savers who are stuffing tens of thousands into their pension schemes—and bloody good luck to any who are—or Labour’s net has been cast a lot wider than they would have us believe.


Some simple, approximate, figures.

  • Approximate population of the UK 63.5 million
  • 15-24 year olds (student fodder) approximately 12.6% of the population
  • 25-54 year olds (progressively thinking more about pensions) 41%
  • 55-64 year olds—very interested in pensions—11.5%
  • Median age of population 41 years old.


So Ed and Labour are potentially penalising 52.5% of the population—an already ageing population which is long past student age—to benefit 12.6% of the population, not all of who will be going to university anyway and most of who can’t be bothered to vote.


Way to go, Eddie baby. I think you’ve just kebabed yourself and –trust me on this—trying to ‘explain’ your figures is only going to make things worse. Never mind, Neil Kinnock had a good run as an EU commissioner after he lost the 92 election, maybe Dave (Cameron, increasingly the most likely next Prime Minister) will take pity on you and nominate you for something similar—always assuming that we stay in the EU.



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