Brenda and Dave

Even before Dave climbed into the prime-ministerial limo this morning and made his way across London to Schlöss Windsor to officially inform Brenda that Parliament had dissolved itself, the fun and games began. Actually, they began yesterday with one of Dave’s ministerial ‘friends’–a fellow traveller with those who a previous resident of Ten Downing Street referred to collectively as ‘bastards’–explaining to the media that of course, when Dave said he would serve every minute of a second term he really meant that he wouldn’t. Well, I think we all knew that, or at least you did if you read my previous comments on the subject. Be that as it may and moving swiftly on….

 

Soon to be ex-leader of the Lib-Dems–remember them?–Nick Clegg was on the radio this morning and actually said something very interesting. I’m sure it was entirely accidental and he never really meant to make a definitive statement, but he opined that the Tory plan to hold a referendum on staying in Europe was not a good idea. When asked to expand on this, he said that referendums were a good thing, if the circumstances were right. Presumably he meant if you were certain that the electorate shared your opinion on any given subject then it was OK to ask their opinion on it. Perhaps they should drop the ‘Democrats’ part of the party name. In the meantime, if Dave can take time out from strangling his friends, he could usefully remind potential UKip voters that the Tories are the only party offering anybody a say on the subject.

 

Wallace Miliband and Co have taken out a full page advert in the Financial Times–surely not a paper read by many of Labour’s natural supporters–and in it they also opine that the projected referendum is not a good thing as people might actually vote to come out and then where would we be, eh? Up a gum tree is their considered opinion. So much for attracting euro-sceptic UKip voters into the Labour camp, then. I haven’t seen the ad yet, but a Labour spokesman–again on the radio–pointed out that there was a whole long list of business leaders who shared Labour’s opinion that leaving the EU would be a disaster. They were quoted in the advert. Ah yes, but had Labour asked them if they could be quoted? After some prevarication–they were all genuine quotes, they were all in the public domain anyway etc etc–it became apparent that the answer was no. The interviewer put it to him that whilst Labour might be wanting to give the impression that these business leaders agreed with Labour economic policies, this was merely a collection of quotes concerning the UK’s membership of the EU and really nothing to do with the referendum or Labour’s economic policies, whatever they might turn out to be. There was some momentary confusion and then the reply came. Labour were really friendly to business these days and many business leaders supported their economic policies, which were all perfectly clear and far too numerous to mention at the moment. Was this why a Labour donor–the figure of £400K this year was mooted, which might make him the largest donor–had just gone on record as saying that Wallace & Co needed to change their policies as they were not business friendly? Apparently the spokesman had never met this donor–although he had heard of him–and so couldn’t really say. Alistair Campbell might be able to spin his way out of this one and Peter Mandelson–Blair’s twice-fired ‘baron of darkness’–would never have let this clown anywhere near a microphone in the first place but as it is Wallace may have some fast-talking to do. In the meantime, if Dave can take time out from strangling his friends, he could usefully remind potential UKip voters that the Tories are the only party offering anybody a say on UK membership of the EU.

 

La Sturgeon, she of the SNP, has been giving it rootie-toot at the SNP conference in Glasgow. After translation into English, I understand her to have said that the SNP would have the whip-hand in any future Labour/SNP coalition and then they would make the bloody English squirm. Cue much applause from the audience. Cue English voters googling how to tie a hangman’s–or in this case hangwoman’s–knot. I could almost suspect that the SNP have done a deal with Dave to completely scupper Labour both north and south of the border. In the meantime, if Dave can take time out from strangling his friends, not only could he usefully remind potential UKip voters that the Tories are the only party offering anybody a say on the subject of EU membership but they are also the only party that is offering English voters a say in the law-making process that will pass legislation effecting them.

 

The Greens have wisely not allowed their leader and sole MP anywhere near the media yet.

Peter Robinson, leader of the DUP (Democratic Unionist Party– of Northern Ireland), the larger of the two unionist parties in NI went on record as saying that the DUP could form a coalition with either the Tories or Labour but they would be looking closely at what would be in it for Northern Ireland. On the face of it keeping his options open, he sought to ensure that he was not misunderstood. We are a UNIONIST party, he said. We believe in the UNION. He didn’t need to add that this was a completely different stance to that taken by the shower of bastards gathered together in Glasgow. Dave most likely heard him, even above the choking sounds coming from his ‘friend’.

 

It’s early days yet but I’m going to go out on a limb and make a prediction, of sorts.

The Lib-Dems will be much diminished.

‘Our Nige’ will find it impossible to keep control over the more extreme members of UKip and they will not do as well as expected.

La Sturgeon will bury Wallace & Co both north and south of the border.

Dave will eventually run out of friends to strangle and will then emerge as the leader of the largest party in Westminster. He will form a coalition with the DUP, fudge the question of EU reform and win the referendum.

In a little over five years from now, we can look forward to all this again. Isn’t democracy a wonderful thing.

 

 

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